The most odd thing so far about parenting a newborn is the absolutely screwy nature of time. It was a given that my schedule would go all to hell and there’s no news there, but the thing I hadn’t counted on was the distortion of time. Minutes take hours, hours evaporate without warning and day turns to night then back to day again in a blink.
It becomes even more interesting to get things done in this state. Missions are planned, built and scrubbed based on the flexible bullet of my child’s feeding cycle. This gives a whole new meaning to the concept of “syncing roadmaps” . We start to sketch out something to do and then start building towards doing it. Meanwhile, the big countdown clock of the child starts and stops, stutters and sometimes even seems to run backwards. Throw in local traffic conditions and the window for the operation becomes narrow. Usually we hit the mark but often enough we have to slide something out and try again later.
Regardless, it has all been great so far. Further bulletins as events warrant.
Important study just out: The distractive effect of email and other similar technologies found to lower IQ and hamper workplace performance more than Cannabis (Note the crackberry phenomenom). Read all about it here.
See how much time you’re wasting just reading this? Set your presence to stealth and do something. As for me, I’m gonna go look at the baby some more.
Well, through the kindness and support of Mom and Wifey I was able to slip the surly bonds of homelife and head to the car show yesterday, where I spent exactly 30 minutes racing the aisles, snapping pictures and gesticulating wildly.
Full Disclosure: My relationship with automobiles is rather love/hate. On the one hand, they’re a huge resource suck for the planet and at the very center of our society’s obsessive consumer attitudes – cars can really bring out the worst in people. On the other hand, people can express themselves with cars and come up with creative solutions to interesting problems.
There are some more photos over in my album but I chose this one to pull out as my show favorite. Not satisfied with putting a 383 c.i. V8 in a car that weighs little more than a toaster oven, this fella chose to add twin turbos…resulting in ~750 hp at the flywheel and 0-60 times of 2 seconds. Sick.
Here comes the problem solving: The car is also carbureted – how to handle the tricky air intake? By enclosing the entire carb in a plenum fed by the turbo outputs, he created a cool black box (or silver, as the case may be) effect. Overall this was the tightest, most minimal, slickest and probably most effective engine swap in the show. If you’re at all interested in seeing how people take this classic little sports car and turn it into some wild things, visit www.hybridz .org
Oven-Puffed Egg Goodness.
Morning is off to a beautiful start because of the above and one other thing: Last night Elle slept in her basket right next to the bed and I could finally relax.
(Thanks for the suggestion Mom – you may have saved our marriage)
This isn’t a dig at co-sleeping (I have some friends who are avid and successful at it) , It’s just that I was sleeping like doo-doo, all bunched up and worried about smacking the baby with one of my ususal flailing movements during the R.E.M. phase. So anyway it went great – Elle doesn’t know the difference (apparently) and I got deep into my Alpha waves.
And then I woke up and had a frittata. Praise be.
Dang…The rush is wearing off and the sleep-dep is rushing in. Elle is doing fine, the jaundice is going away and she’s just as happy as can be. “Happy” being defined as eating, pooping and sleeping on a 150 minute cycle. Regrettably, the 150 minute cycle doesn’t work so well for me. I think it would be better if there weren’t so much to do during the day, but the combination of rushing around doing errands and all the cooking and cleaning is pretty tiresome.
Enter: Grandma. Mom got here today and will hopefully (she says she wants to) shoulder some of the burden. And there was much rejoicing. Yay!
Beyond that, all is well. Today is the Z Car West Coast Nationals show over in Ananheim – Biggest Z Car show in the world…but alas…I am otherwise occupied and probably will not make it over there. Probably just a bunch of jerks anyway…snif.
That’s about it for the morning post…gonna go drink some more coffee and figure out the day. That is all ye know and all ye need to know.
As mentioned previously: The tale of the blood draw station. Elle’s a little jaundiced and on Monday we had to go get her a blood test. “Stat” order from doctor in hand and a little nerve-wracked, we arrive at the blood draw station. The place is packed and a somewhat surly nurse tells us that we’re gonna have to wait blah blah blah. My concept of “Triage” is totally blown at this point. We look for a seat amongst the masses awaiting their cholestorol results and end up squatting on the floor.
Test comes back, shows an elevation and we have to go back the next day for a follow up. This time the place is empty (save for the aforementioned surly nurse) and we’re at the head of the line. Blood drawn, we’re out. A couple hours later we call in for the results and are told they aren’t in the system – they’ll check around and call us back. Turns out the nurse never took the sample over to the lab and it sat until our call prompted the system back into action.
So you could gripe or blather on about incompetency, or at least unprofessional behavior but I found a different part of experience rewarded the most scrutiny: The parental instinct that kicked in at the initial draw when we were sent to the back of the line was pretty amazing. Outwardly I was perturbed but not (I think) abrasive…Inside I felt a pretty amazing swell of protective emotion that could only be translated roughly to “How dare you stand in the way of my daughter’s needs – do our will or I will crush you”. Or something like that.
Mostly I consider myself pretty hard to anger but there it was…a short spike of impotent rage when denied service for my daughter. In this modern veneer of society, it was really surprising to see a bit of the caveman jump out and want to protect the little girl.But a cool thing to feel so strongly about her after just a short time together. That sort of Daddy instinct feels great and is the one thing I have in common with Eminem. Well, that and my dope rhymes.
Seriously, They do. Through the generosity of our friends we’ve been equipped with the top of the line Fisher Price Underwater Adventure Swing Thingy that is just awesome. Who wouldn’t like this sized just for them. Let’s run down the features:
- 6 speed transmission
- Built in light show
- Built in sound system
- Overhead special FX – Glitter Fishies
- Custom upholstery (removable, washable)
And it goes on from there. I want one (maybe add a cupholder).
On the developmental side, she’s doing great. Eatin, Poopin, Sleepin – the full range of newborn activity is in effect. Quick checkup scheduled tomorrow for weight and bilirubin levels and she’s good to go.
Next entry: Feeling the parental instinct kick in at the blood draw station.
I’m driving home with a load of groceries, listening to Morning Becomes
Eclectic on KCRW and I hear a Z-trip song (with one of the J5 guys
Dakir (sp?)) Thinking: Cool, I haven’t heard much about him since
days he did sets in Phoenix, glad to hear him, nice cut, etc. etc.
Two minutes ago, out of nowhere the mail notifier goes off:
We’ve noticed that customers
who have purchased
People by Handsome Boy Modeling School also purchased the work of
Z-Trip. For this reason, you might like to know that Z-Trip’s Shifting
Gears will be released on April 19, 2005. You can pre-order your copy
at a savings of 15% by following the link below.
It’s kind of spooky, but it does help in my search for Slack -
Slack in this case being not having to think about a thing and having
content served up to me. Eat your heart out MMJB/YME – This
recommendation just blew the ass out of anything I’ve seen on my home
page in the respective products…
Progress has been made with the cats. Although Oscar
frequently adopts the “flat cat” pose when she’s around (enabling him
to pass underneath closed doors and head for the hills) Gus (pictured)
is an inquisitive, gentle beast. I’m beginning to formulate some
key theses about parenting and I’m excited to discover that a part of
the relationship is observation – the ultimate people (or person)
watching extravaganza. Fascinating. I think I just heard her belch. I
Dang! Here it is…even though I knew it was coming fatherhood snuck up
on me. On Thursday Tanya’s water broke and we took her to
the hospital. She wasn’t having contractions so they induced labor -
about 6 hours later (4:29 a.m.) we had a little girl on our
hands, Elle Kathryn Ochenas. She was 6 lbs. 5 oz. and 21 inches
long, healthy and beautiful. T is a total champ and made it look easy -
even with the induction she went natural and sped right through it.
We’re home now and surrounded by goodwill and the support of our loved
ones. Thanks to everybody for the well wishing, flowers, calls, gifts
and the rest. Half the joy of this process (at least so far) has been
the way everyone has rallied round us. A particular shout goes out to
all the good people at work who’ve been so cool and supportive of me
jumping ship halfway through the 1.1 effort – you’ll get your
investment back in Arthur (That’s a familiar sounding statement, huh?)
. Much love to all,